Just Stuff.. · Momming

Exhausted

I have been exhausted this week it is midterms at school.  That means I spend most of my time studying.  Of course my four year old doesn’t understand midterms she just knows that she wants Mommy to play with her.  I am going to go do that now.  Before I do this weeks entry stems from a paper I wrote explaining a process.  I wrote about dressing a toddler.  I am sure all you moms out there will recognize this.  Have a great weekend.

Before dressing a toddler, it is always a good idea to have all the supplies laid on in a convenient location, such as, the toddler’s bed.  Next it is best to warn the toddler, you should say something like, “after breakfast we are going to go get you dressed.”  At this point the toddler will gobble down the rest of her breakfast jump up from the table and run to the playroom.  Follow the child to the playroom.  Say, “Remember, sweetie it is time to get dressed.” Then say, “Ok, you got to play a little now let’s go get dressed.”  Repeat these two phrases approximately three to five more times.  Then, lift the child and carry her to the bedroom.

Now that you have the toddler in the bedroom remove the child’s pajamas.  She will then run through the house, without any clothes, laughing and screaming, “Naked, Naked, Naked!” Chase the child through the house. Trip over the cat and twist your ankle.  Limp into the playroom.  There you will find the toddler playing naked.  Say to the child, “It’s time to get dressed!” She may look at you confused like she has no idea what you are talking about.  Pick her up and carry her back to the bedroom.

When you get back to the bedroom sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” to distract her while you wrestle her into her undergarments.  Next pick up her pants.  The toddler will begin to wail.  Ask the child, “What’s wrong?”  Between sobs she will say “I don’t want to wear pants, I want to wear a dress.”  Put the pants away. Take out the blue dress with the teddy bear on it.  The toddler will continue to wail. Say, “I got you a dress.  What’s wrong now?” She will say, “I don’t want that dress, I want the yellow ladybug dress.” Explain to the child that the ladybug dress is a sundress and it is forty degrees outside.  Advise her that if she wears the ladybug dress she will freeze.  The child will argue that the teddy bear dress is not pretty enough. Tell her that the teddy bear dress is the prettiest and point out that the teddy bear is wearing a sparkly pink bow.  Put the dress on the child before she changes her mind.

Now grab the child’s tights quickly, before she runs off again.  Ask her to sit on the bed. Then pick her up and sit her down on the bed.  Slide the tights onto the child’s left foot and pull them up to her knee.  Slide the child’s tights onto her right foot and pull them up to her knee.  Notice that she has taken her left foot out of the tights. While keeping a close eye on her right foot, put the tights back on her left foot and pull up to her knee, stopping as necessary to keep her from pulling her right foot out.  Pull the tights up to the child’s waist.

Now all that is left is shoes.  Put the child’s left shoe on.  Now, she will likely throw herself on the ground screaming, “I want to do it.”  Take the child’s left shoe off. Give it to her.  Wait, in approximately forty seconds, she will throw the shoe and exclaim, “I can’t do it!”  Pick up the shoe, put it on her right foot.  Put the left shoe on the left foot.  The child will now immediately run back to the playroom.

You are finished. You will probably need a rest.  Make yourself a cup of coffee, congratulate yourself on a job well done and relax.  That is when you will remember that you must do it all again in just ten hours.

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